There's nothing wrong with him.

I just came across a little story that I felt goes right along with the "weaknesses" discussion. A home schooling mother is telling a story of driving along in the car with her son. He had just participated in a youth conference type of situation where he had spent several days with other youth. In talking to his mom, he was lamenting his feelings of inadequacy whenever he gets around groups of people. He said he never knows what to say, and when he does say something he always feels like he said the wrong thing. His mom immediately starts thinking that it's probably all the fault of home schooling, that he hasn't had enough opportunities to socialize, etc., and she starts coming up with ideas of things she might do to improve his feelings of self worth. She considers counseling, and other types of interventions. Luckily she had the presence of mind to take her concerns to the Lord, wondering which of her ideas was the right one. Here's the answer she received:
"There is nothing wrong with your son. Teach him to whom he must go in order to turn his weaknesses to strengths."

That hit me as just another way to look at the weaknesses in our lives. Our weaknesses are not defects that need "fixing." The answer is not behavior modification classes, or books, or whatever else we might initially turn to to "get over" these things. The answer is humility and faith in the saving power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. A well known quote by President Packer says that "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." Going in search of those true doctrines includes scripture study and earnest prayer. Those are the way that we humble ourselves, increase our faith, and allow Heavenly Father to convert our weaknesses to strengths. It may be that there is a place for the other things mentioned, that isn't for anyone to judge for anyone else, but if we really want help with our weaknesses, we would do well to follow the instructions for that as given in the scriptures (see Ether 12:27), and then see where we are inspired to go from there. Turning to the Lord should be first on our list of options, not where we go when all else has failed. Rather than seeing ourselves as "broken," let's always remember that we are a work in progress, and Heavenly Father is the builder with the master plan. We can trust that He knows what He's doing as he takes us from where we are to the masterpieces we will become.

The Other Stall

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom,
I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restroom.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me,

But I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"??

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite

and end the conversation. I tell them

"No..I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back.

Someone in the other stall keeps answering all my questions

Airline Announcements

United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!

*************************************

On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything,
please make sure it's something we'd like to have. '

*************************************

'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane'

*************************************

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.

She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'

'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?'

The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?'

***************************************

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'

*******************************************

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as h*** everything has shifted after a landing like that.'

*************************************

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated
as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.'

*************************************

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo ... Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'

***********************************

'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle
to shore and take them with our compliments.'

***********************************

'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses........except for that gentleman over there.'

******************************************

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City . The flight attendant came on the
intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the
airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'

****************************************

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.'

****************************************

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.
And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube,
we hope you'll think of US Airways..'

****************************************

Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section
on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.'

So True. . .

This is a great poem that helps me see myself as well as those around me in a little different light. :)

Heaven's Door

I was shocked, confused, bewildered

As I entered Heaven's door,

Not by the beauty of it all,

Nor the lights or its decor.


But it was the folks in Heaven

Who made me sputter and gasp—

The thieves, the liars, the sinners,

The alcoholics and the trash.


There stood the kid from seventh grade

Who swiped my lunch money twice.

Next to him was my old neighbor

Who never said anything nice.


Herb, who I always thought

Was rotting away in hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,

Looking incredibly well.


I nudged Jesus,'What's the deal?

I would love to hear Your take.

How'd all these sinners get up here?

God must've made a mistake.


'And why's everyone so quiet,

So somber - give me a clue.'

'Hush, child,' He said,'they're all in shock.

No one thought they'd be seeing you.'


JUDGE NOT.

Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a

Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car ..

Every saint has a PAST...

Every sinner has a FUTURE!

Evaluating

I received the following in an email today, and it fit so perfectly with my purpose for doing this blog that I had to pass it along. It was written by Sister M. Catherine Thomas, who used to teach at BYU. She writes, “I remember a liberating experience I had during our mission in the Canary Islands. We were staying in the old mission home on Gran Canaria, up toward the top of a mountain. We had just returned from some diligent teaching. I was feeling that I hadn’t done a good enough job. When I was alone, I knelt down and told the Lord how sorry I was, how I had let Him down, and so on -- all my self-doubt surfacing. In the middle of praying, a voice suddenly said to me, “Stop it! Stop evaluating yourself and just come to Me.” My whole neurotic life passed before me, and I saw how much time I had wasted feeling apologetic about my own performance. How often anxiety replaces the comfort of the Gospel! I’ve come to realize what a red-flag that is and how it signals the false assumptions we carry.

I have continued thinking about self-evaluation as I hear people say, “I know I should be doing more,” or “I should have done better.” I hear shame, guilt, self-criticism, and self-dislike, and “I’m just not good enough,” and “I’m just not making it.” And these are often conscientious people doing the best they know how. Since I have felt and said all these things, I empathize – I know these feelings.

But the problem with these feelings of self-discontent is that they can create a gap between us and the Lord, make routine and superficial our relationship with Him, and preclude any sort of strong faith. We put all the evidence of our spiritual adequacy in the doing basket, in the checking off the things required of us – but neglect the aspect of our being with Him, without which we have not come to Christ – but we don’t know how to bridge this gap.

So, if we’re trapped in shame, guilt, inadequacy, fear, despair, or spiritual apathy, and as members of the Lord’s Church and know we won’t light a cigarette or reach for a drink to take the edge off, we may just reach for a pill – or maybe just leave the Church, (emotionally, if not physically), looking for some comfort. But these actions don’t solve the problem. Let me say that finding greater spiritual comfort is not so much, in my experience, a matter of trying harder, but of shifting our thinking.

Here is the first shift (I’ll discuss a second shift in the next column):

We have to believe in the doctrine of “no-merit,” explained in Alma 22:14: “Since man had fallen he could not merit anything of himself; but the sufferings and death of Christ atone for their sins through faith and repentance.” And we have to realize that “deserving” is not the basis of this divine relationship: “Thou didst hear me because of afflictions and sincerity [notice that no deserving or merit is mentioned]; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, wherefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy.” (Alma 33:11).

My experience is that the Voice is still speaking saying, “Stop creating obstacles and just come to Me; the transformation is in Me.”

But how to stop skating along the surface and plunge deeply into the bosom of the Savior where a different vision opens up? Moroni counsels, “Come unto Christ and be perfected IN Him”—not alone out in the raw and lonely world; he says, “deny yourselves of all ungodliness” and “love God with all your might, mind, and strength” (Moroni 10:32). This verse describes what we are to teach our mind and heart to do during the day-to-day. No half-measures fully turn the key.

But it takes a while to identify the ungodliness, (even though the Spirit has been gently pointing it out for some time), and to let it go; and it takes a while to let this Love develop under all the layers we have laid over it. But as the ungodliness retreats, the Love emerges, and these practices become transformative.

And once we take the Lord seriously and stop treating lightly the things we have received (see D&C 84:54), then all the petty aberrations in our soul that loomed so large in our inner vision seem to thin and fade into nothingness, leaving us clean and content to be who we are as we humble ourselves and grow better in the warm bosom of the Lord Jesus Christ.” (End of article; all emphases in the original.) (Source: http://www.ldsmag. com/daily/ 100219.html )

What a great article! It reminded me of a slightly similar experience I had some years ago. I had been inspired with an idea for a new design for the temple envelopes, so after making one and using it, I carried it around with me to show people who I thought might be interested in them. Since I only had the one, and it was the one I used when I went to the temple, I just took it with me when I showed it to people, leaving the clothing in it. One day I was showing the envelope to someone who was reviewing items for possible inclusion in her craft show, showing her the pockets where the different pieces of clothing went, when she told me that she had never been to the temple, being an inactive member of the church at that time. I got this awful sinking feeling that I had just done something terribly wrong by showing the clothing to someone who didn’t know anything about it (even though I was actually showing the bag, the clothing was still there and exposed somewhat), and when I got back to the car, I said a prayer apologizing to Heavenly Father for it. I promised that I would go right home and take the clothing out of the demo bag, and I asked Him to forgive me. I immediately heard a voice in the back of my mind say, "I already have," and a feeling of deep gratitude and love washed over me, as I realized that He is waiting for me to come to Him; not sitting on His throne with angry eyebrows and his arms crossed in front of him condemning me every time I make a mistake. He knows and expects that I will make many mistakes, but I believe that He watches over me during those times anticipating that I will turn to Him. He did not need me to ask for forgiveness; it was for me that I had to do that. By the time I arrived home, any guilt or shame associated with the matter was behind me. I did not have to carry that burden any longer than the time it took me to sincerely repent of my error. He patiently waits for me to turn to him to relieve me of those burdens that I might otherwise carry around with me, sometimes for years. I have carried heavy suitcases through big airports, before the days when suitcases had wheels. I remember it was always with a feeling of relief, a rest, if you will, when I could be relived of that burden. When Christ says, “Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest,” He is telling us that if we will do that, He will either help us carry those burdens or take them from us all together. Either way, the load is lighter and easier to bear. It truly feels like a rest to be relieved of emotional baggage whether that baggage consists of unrepented sin, feelings of guilt for giving into our weaknesses yet again, or the feeling of knowing that I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness. Since coming to this realization, and having felt the difference between carrying the baggage, and the “peace that passeth understanding” I now try to do what it takes to dump the baggage as soon as possible. The realization that the atonement can apply to me in my every day situations and not just when I commit the BIG sins, has made a huge difference in my life, and in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

Isn't the Gospel just totally Awesome!


Come unto Me and I will give you rest.

Dancing With God

This is apparently one of those amazing things that has a constant place in the email world. I got it for the first time this past week (thanks, Dad!), and finally read it today. It's perfect for this blog, so I'm including it here. I've been unable to find an original source; if anyone knows it, I'd love to give credit where it's due.

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,

I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,

and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,

both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back

or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,

and attentiveness from one person

and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".

"God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust

that I would get guidance about my life..

Once again, I became willing to let God lead...

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings

and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God, as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead

and to guide you through each season of your life.

Make it a great day!

Am I Eating Right?

A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, a banana out of the other, and lettuce draped over the top of his head. He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong. The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."

That is one of my favorite jokes, and I don't even know why. It just gives me a good chuckle whenever I think about it. Eating right isn't really a laughing matter for those who are suffering from health problems, though. I could go on and on about the things I've "learned" about health in my many years of studying this subject. As we all know, much of the information in this area just follows the latest diet trends, and eventually, much of the advice being handed out by the supposed "experts" on the subject turns out to be bogus if not downright dangerous.

After reading many dozens of books on the subject, and having done my own experimentation in this area, I've come to the following conclusions when it comes to "eating right":

1) There really isn't any quick fix for good health.
2) There are principles to good health, the same as there are principles to good government, economics, the law of tithing, etc. If we want the blessings of health, we must follow those principles, and they are found in the scriptures. These principles include, eating fruits and vegetables in their season, with a large percentage of them being eaten raw when ripe; eating grains, legumes, nuts and seeds to add bulk to the diet; eating meats sparingly; getting plenty of rest; and drinking an adequate amount of water. I don't actually know if that last one is in the scriptures, but it is well accepted as a fact.
3) Staying away from the "don'ts" in the Word of Wisdom, and keeping other unhealthy foods to a minimum.
4) If we expect to receive the blessings of good health, as mentioned at the end of section 89, we must follow the plan the Lord gave us to receive those blessings.
5) And this last one that I hate to even acknowledge: exercise. Yep, some form of exercise is necessary if we want to maintain good health.

Hugh Nibley taught a gospel doctrine class on the Word of Wisdom and I just found the transcript to that class. In very simple terms he taught what the Word of Wisdom is, and what it isn't. It can be found here: http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/publications/transcripts/?id=118 .

I finally stopped reading so many diet books, because I always ended up right back at the Word of Wisdom. Realizing that everyone's body is different, and that many of us have certain inherited weaknesses, it is up to us to find out how to adapt those principles to our own situations. However, in the first few verses we are told that the Word of Wisdom was "adapted to the capacity of the weak and the weakest of all saints," so everyone should be able to apply this to themselves in some way. We'll leave that up to the Spirit to guide us in that area.

One of the great blessings about the Word of Wisdom, is that it has the ability keep us safe from the traps of those conspiring to ruin our health to pad their wallets. The Word of Wisdom talks about them, too, and tells us that the reason we were given this law of health was to protect us from them. I know that there are a lot of companies out there that fall into this category, but I think some companies haven't quite caught onto this principle yet. I figured this out on a trip to the grocery store some months ago, and I wrote about it in my journal:

"So I started this diet yesterday, replacing 2 meals a day with protein shakes and a cleansing drink, then a regular meal for the third meal. (I actually lasted a couple of days on this diet that was supposed to last two weeks.) I'm walking through the grocery store, and they have a guy there giving out free FAT BOY ice cream sandwiches. I thought to myself: Is he kidding? No, wait, that's not what I thought. What I actually thought was: Are they kidding?? referring to the namers of that product, which wouldn't be the guy that was handing them out. So you've got this product that will actually contribute to obesity and heart disease and you blatantly announce it on the front of the box. Whatever happened to conspiring men? That is so obvious! I mean, I didn't have any problem at all walking right by, seeing as how my diet was only a few hours old. I think they ought to make a couple of other products and call them HEFTY MAMA, or FATTY GIRL and see if their sales improve. That might be a whole new niche that hasn't been tapped into yet. But what do I know? I don't have an MBA or anything."

Of course, maybe they are smarter than I am and there's something subliminal going on, or some form of reverse psychology. Keep your guard up; you just can't be too careful these days. :)

Update on Weakness and Addiction

I want to thank Lucy for her comments to my question as to whether or not weakness and addiction are the same thing. She pointed out that they are not the same, but that weaknesses can lead to habits, which can then lead to addictions. That makes sense, and I guess when I consider it further, some of the things I was calling addictions, are actually just habits. So I started wondering about the process that turns weaknesses into addictions, because as pointed out in a previous discussion on Ether 12:27, God gives us weaknesses, therefore they aren't inherently bad. With this in mind, I had an interesting (to me) experience today that helped me understand a little better how the process works.
I am taking online classes from a university, and many of the books I have to read are not on my list of favorites, and if I actually had a list of very unfavorites, some of them would show up there. I find that I will do almost anything to convince myself that I'm too busy to study, even though I know it's something I should do, and I also know that if I'd invest some of the time that I waste in a day, I would find that I really do have plenty of time to get to the reading. Today I was downloading a bunch of mp3 files of talks from a convention, feeling anxious to be able to start listening to them. As I sat there, I kept having this feeling that I needed to be studying my lessons and that the talks would still be available after that. I really had to struggle with myself to make myself go study rather than start up one of the talks. Being self disciplined is very difficult for me, because it's often hard to see the rewards for being so, and the other things I'd rather be doing seem to call much louder than the things I should be doing. I believe that this is where we need to be able to have the Spirit with us, and then try hard to follow what we are prompted to do. It would have been very easy for me to ignore that little voice this afternoon--I know, because I've done it many times before. Realizing that procrastination and the lack of self discipline are two of my weaknesses, I can now try to be more aware of times when the Spirit is trying to help me with those. Just tuning into the awareness that I was being tested in an area of weakness helped me to make the right choice today. Hopefully, by continuing to be more aware, I'll be able to do my part in turning those weaknesses into strengths . . . one day at a time.

Attention Deficit to Everything Disorder

I think I have Attention Deficit to Everything Disorder (ADED), but I've never been officially diagnosed. I don't think I'd be able to focus long enough to hear what a doctor would have to say to me, anyway, so it hardly seems worth the money to have one tell me what I already suspect. There are actually lots of subgroups to this disorder, one of them being ADCD, or Attention Deficit to Cooking Disorder. I have a feeling that this may be why there were lots of burnt carrots as I was growing up, but I don't have the nerve to ask. I can't even count the number of times I've burned broiled cheese sandwiches. I put them in the oven, and something says, "I don't have time to just stand here and watch cheese melt," so I go looking for something to do to make good use of the 2 minutes it will take for the sandwiches to cook. I walk into the other room and I might sit down at the piano, or pick up a book, or start to clean up something, but somewhere along the line I completely forget that I was cooking anything at all, until the smell of smoke fills the air, reminding me.
Or there's the ADHCD, Attention Deficit to Housecleaning Disorder. You know how when you're trying to clean a room and you go into the next room to put something away and get distracted in that room, setting off a chain reaction that ends up with lots of projects started and nothing getting accomplished? You do? Well, now you know what to call it.
The one that really gets me, though, is ADSRPD: Attention Deficit to Scripture Reading and Prayers Disorder. My intentions are there, and I will set my alarm to wake me up in plenty of time to do both of them to get my day started right, but as soon as I walk out of the room and see the computer sitting there, I have to turn it on to make sure nothing vitally important has shown up during the night. Nothing ever has, but that doesn't stop me from needing to check it anyway. I have found that once I sit down in front of that machine, even if it's just to "check" my emails, and even if there isn't anything worth reading at the moment, I can't seem to pull myself away from it and the time passes until the children get up and I've missed my chance.
I haven't made any really good strides in conquering my ADCD, and ADHC, but I am making baby steps in the last one. I realized that part of my problem was that I'd forget what it was that I got up for in the first place. I'm not that old, but I think I've been suffering from "senior moments" since I started having children. My husband occasionally asks me if I can remember bumping my head really hard at some point, but of course I can't. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to try to be more consistent with morning prayers and scripture study. I know some people study at night before they go to bed, and if that carries them all the way through until the next night, that's great. For me, though, I see doing those things first thing in the morning as tuning my internal radio dial to the Celestial Station so the signal will come in more clearly during the day. Sometimes the radio gets bumped during the day and I have to retune the dial, but setting it where I need it to be gives me the best chance for having the Spirit with me for the rest of the day. I also decided that I wanted to do some indexing for the Family Search program every day so I came up with an acronym that I could say to myself in the morning to keep me on track with these goals. I simply call it my PSI (Prayers, Scriptures, Indexing) routine, and I do them in that order. I have gotten much more consistent with the P and S parts of it, and the 'I' seems to happen in spurts, but because I've made it part of the acronym, I never forget about it completely, and eventually I return to doing it. Apparently 3 things is all I can handle on that one, because I expanded it to be called the PSIX routine, with 'X' referring to exercise, but so far that one hasn't happened with any regularity. Some days are better than others, of course, and perfection is a long way off, but all I can do is keep trying, one day at a time. For me, the PSI routine has greatly reduced my ADSRPD. Now I need to figure out how apply it to cooking cheese sandwiches.

Does Weakness = Addiction?

I was talking to a friend during our daughters' violin lesson this morning, and she mentioned something that I had never thought of before, so I'm passing it along in case anyone might have some input into the question. I mentioned to her that during the quiet hours this morning before anyone else was up, I was folding laundry while listening to an audio file of the Church's Addiction Recovery Manual. I read a book years ago written by a woman who helped set up the church's program by adapting the Alcoholics' Anonymous 12-Step program to reflect the values and teachings of the LDS Church. It's a fabulous program, and I decided I wanted to do it again, with my focus being to get over my sugar addiction. I figure if all goes well, when I'm done, I'll start over and tackle another of my issues. Anyway, when I showed the manual to my friend (I had stuck it in my bag in case I had time to work on it while I was out) and asked if she had ever seen it, she laughed and said that she had bought one a while back for their family, since her bishop had said in church that every family should have the Preach My Gospel and the Church's Addiction Recovery Manual in their home. He said that if anyone thought they didn't have addictions, they needed to think again, because everyone has them and this manual would help with them.
After she said this it was as if something went off in my brain and made a connection with the study I'm doing about weaknesses. Are they the same thing? What are my weaknesses, could they be called "addictions"? Let's see sugar, spending money, books, the computer, anger, etc. and that's probably all I want to admit right now. :) Two of the the definitions of weakness, according to the dictionary are: "a self-indulgent liking or special fondness, as for a particular thing" and "an object of special desire; something very difficult to resist." Well, that sounds kind of like an addiction, though maybe a mild form. What is the definition of addiction? Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance [and I will add "habit-forming behaviors"]. Okay, so what are habit-forming substances or behaviors? Anything we do that we feel compelled to keep returning to over and over again, seemingly beyond our ability to control. If I look back up at the partial list of my weaknesses, every single one of them fits into the category of an addiction. The reason they are weaknesses is precisely because I can't seem to just shake them off. If so, they wouldn't be weaknesses any more. Wow. I don't know if I'm just a little slow, and that is something that everyone but me has already figured out, but that is an amazing discovery for me. What would happen if I started treating my weaknesses as addictions? Well, I'm already a little ahead of myself on this one, having listened to the first lesson of the addiction recovery program this morning, but the first step in getting over addictions, is to realize and then admit that we have them, and the second thing is to realize that we are dependent on God and the atonement of His Son Jesus Christ to help us get rid of them.
So that's where I am in my thinking on that subject, having only had this thought for a couple of hours. Maybe I'm way out in left field, but at the moment that's my opinion, which is always subject to change pending further data input.

Whose Puzzle Are You Doing?

These are notes I took from a recording of a Christian radio program from KEYY 1450 AM a few years ago. I thought I had downloaded the audio file of it, but I can’t find it now, and I can’t find the website to be able to source it. This story was told by a Christian woman who goes around giving presentations on turning one’s life over to Christ. This is an actual dream she had.

In the dream she is on stage ready to give a presentation. She does this often, so this isn’t anything new to her. This particular time, though, there is a big table covered with puzzle pieces on the stage. She realizes that she is supposed to put the puzzle together. When she starts doing the puzzle, she notices that all the pieces are black, making it very difficult. Adding to the confusion, people from the audience keep coming up and adding more black pieces to the table. She starts to feel very frustrated wondering how she’s ever going to get all of it put together.

After a while she notices Christ standing off to the side. She mentions how He just stood there watching, not forcing his help on her. Finally He says, “Would you like to see the puzzle I have for you?” “This isn’t it?” she asks. He goes over to the puzzle and takes a handful saying, “These belong to your daughter.” He takes another handful, saying, “These belong to another family member, but you don’t want her to feel the pain. These are the consequences of her choices, but you don’t want her to feel them.” Then He takes the last handful and says, “These are your trials, and they’re heavy, but you weren’t meant to carry them, will you give them to me?” She says “yes,” so He takes them and brings out 3 big yellow puzzle pieces and hands them to her. She says, “I’ll be done in no time and then what will we do?”

Jesus answers, “We’ll play.”

She responds, “I don’t know how to play.”

She said that he took her off stage and they went outside to find some lion cubs romping in the grass. She has a love for these animals so it was an interesting twist to the story for her. She and Jesus spent time playing with them.

He says, “You will know you are doing someone else’s puzzle when we don’t have time to be together to play.”

She said, “I’ve been handing back other people’s puzzle pieces ever since.”

End of dream.

Her commentary (kind of sketchy, but hopefully enough to get us thinking):

Jesus said, “My yoke is easy.”

In the Torah, the law was called the heavy yoke.

If you sit at his feet and learn his word from him then His yoke is easy.

Studying the Bible is supposed to be experiential.

Figure out if the puzzle pieces are yours; learn to listen, to discern, ask God about our next step-to know which are black pieces and which are yellow pieces–could make you really unpopular.

You need to be firmly connected to Jesus to know ultimately what is best for that person–we can’t take away others’ pain–sometimes they need it to be able to come to Him.

New definition of being a Christian woman: Living life loved.

Realizing that God sees me as a child, we are to be childlike–not childish; He will help us to uncover our sense of childlikeness. When we were wounded our growth was stunted.

3 things we can do.

1. Practice God’s presence. We were created to thrive in God’s presence. Unless we are spending time in His presence today, we are a mere shadow of what we can be. “Lord define me, show me who I am.” Learn to meditate. “Wasting 5 minutes a day with God. Sitting in a chair. Lord I’m yours. I’m going to sit in your lap and just sit there.” We are already in His presence. We just need to realize it and focus in on it. When you inhale: Oh Lord Jesus; exhale: I belong to you.

2. Living cherished. “Here I am! Your bundle of joy!” I can’t do anything to make Him love me more. Nor could I mess up so badly to make Him love me less.

Lucy (caller): Definition of feminism: Let go and let God take care of us.

How do you give back the puzzle pieces? Ask the Lord how to do it. He will help you figure it out.

If when the alarm goes off you think, “Oh! Another day!” Then we need to spend time in His presence so we can say, “I can forgive them, because Jesus just forgave me.” Get rid of the gritted teeth.

Mary (caller): How to balance the seriousness with having fun. The children see me as not a fun person. Go to God: Repent; Closure; unconditional love. He will bring up the thing that we need to repent of.

3. Pursue the redemption of your pain. We are born with incredible giftedness; enemy sees that; he will use people to hurt people; well-meaning people, nice teachers, etc. to derail us from reaching our potential. Many women don’t know what they are gifted at because every time they do something they get criticized about it. Even if we’re 55 we still have the gift. The gifts are irrevocable.

NEWS FLASH!!! Weakness Is Not Sin!

If the title of this post actually showed up as a front-page headline on today's newspaper, I wonder if anyone would stop to read the story that went with it. This may be the most important article I write for this blog, and indeed, if it were to be the last one I write, I think the blog would have served its purpose. I've been walking through the bookstores quite a bit lately, shopping for gifts, and while I'm there I always to browse a bit to see if there's anything I don't have. There always is, of course, but most of what I don't have I don't need, so with any luck I'll walk out of the store without adding any more from that category to my clutter piles at home. Occasionally, though, a title will jump out at me and cause me to think, and when that happens, there's a good chance I'll end up owning it. Such was the case this time. Wendy Ulrich, Ph.D. has written a book entitled Weakness Is Not Sin. It doesn't call attention to itself in the least; it's paperback, only 150 pages or so, nothing flashy on the cover, and I had to ask a clerk to locate it for me, when my cursory search yielded no results. As I started to read it, I found myself underlining almost every line on every page for the first while. This is a very important book, and if more people in the church could come to understand the truth in the title, I believe we'd see much less depression among our numbers.

We are a good people; we live good lives and try to do what's right, but in that trying, we allow ourselves to get bogged down with a vision of perfection that we see ourselves as never being able to reach. I have anger issues. I don't really know why, except that when people do things that bug me, that seems like the natural reaction much of the time. I believe I have come a long ways over the years, but it always seems like there is such a long way to go, and it certainly doesn't feel like I'm going to master it any time soon. What this book teaches is that those weaknesses that we struggle with, were given to us for a purpose and that only if we choose the wrong reaction in dealing with them do they become sins in our lives.

The author defines "sin" as "rebellion against God," but she says that "weakness" just comes from having a mortal body. Most of the people I know are trying really hard to make it back to the Celestial Kingdom: they don't go around intentionally inflicting harm on others, or turning their backs on God. They try to be consistent in their prayers and scripture study and other things, but as they continue to do these things, they find themselves waking up each day with the same issues they went to bed with and after awhile it seems overwhelming because we are supposed to be perfect. There are so many areas to be perfect in, though, and we can't even master the one or two we're consciously working on. The beautiful message in this book is that while we do need to repent and forsake our sins, our weaknesses were given to us to humble us, and that as we use that humility to turn our lives over to God, Christ's grace will be sufficient for us, and He will make our weak things become strong.

An article I read this past week gave a good example of this. President Hinckley was apparently rather impatient in his life. The article talks about how when his children were young, the family might take a drive to the beach, but after 20 minutes he was ready to leave and get on with other things. However, just a few years after becoming the prophet, the number of temples in the church more than doubled. President Hinckley never got rid of his impatience, but the Lord was able to turn it into a strength and use it to further the work in His kingdom.

Could it be that some of us are trying too hard to root out and get rid of all of our weaknesses, when the answer might be to just chill out a little, become humble and submissive, and see if the Lord might have other plans for us? This is not to say that we shouldn't be working on them, and trying to improve, but that we don't have to live our lives burdened by the fact that we can't seem to get rid of them. The scriptures do not say "...men are that they might have joy, and women are that they might have depression." "Men" in that sense is a collective term, meaning both men and women. We are not joyful when we live our lives burdened down by things that were never intended to burden us.

If we are feeling guilty because of our sins, our rebelliousness against God, then let's take the steps necessary to be rid of them. If we recognize that we have weaknesses, let's realize that they are a normal part of the mortal experience, and turn to the Lord to figure out what we should do about them.

We are very familiar with the Book of Mormon verse that talks about this. I'd like to analyze it just a bit, to illustrate what I'm talking about, inserting my comments in bolded text:

Ether 12:27 says: And if men come unto me [by praying, fasting, scripture study, etc.] I will show unto them their weakness [we come unto God and He shows us our weaknesses! It doesn't say that if we come unto Him he'll take them away from us. Think about that for a minute]. I give unto men weakness [God, not Satan, gives us our weaknesses. Satan tries to exploit them and turn them into sins, but he didn't give them to us.] that they may be humble [NOT that they may feel guilty, but that they may be humble]; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. [The Bible Dictionary defines "grace" as "an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts," and that it "is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means." Wow! Our best efforts will be enough. Grace will make up the difference if we humble ourselves in our weaknesses that God has given to us for this purpose.

The more faithful we become in trying to live the gospel, the more the Lord will show us our weaknesses, and it is through humility in our weaknesses that we are made strong. Please read this last sentence over and over until it resonates through your being. More faithful = more awareness of our weaknesses, but it's a good thing! What a concept!

I wish I had understood this principle on my mission. I came home realizing that I had a lot more weaknesses than I had even imagined. I was always bothered by the fact that I seemed to have so many issues, when I was trying so hard to do what's right. It wasn't until I actually wrote the above bolded sentence just now that I realized what had happened. I was the closest to the Lord at that time than I'd ever been, and He was showing me my weaknesses, just like the scripture said. Rather than be burdened by them, I was supposed to be humbled by them. It did humble me, but not in a way to make me seek reliance on Heavenly Father and turn to Him with the intent of allowing Him to work with me on them. Instead, I felt like dirt, weighed down with how far from perfection I really am. What a freeing, empowering principle this is!

This was going to be a sort of book review, but most of what I've written is just my own thoughts as I've tried to process what I've read so far. I'm only about half way through it, but as I would read, my thoughts kept going off, trying to put this article together. Now that I've got it written out, hopefully I'll be able to finish the book.

Make it a Great Day!

When Answers Don't Come. . .

I've been up much of the night with a 10-year old with a toothache. The complaining started Friday night (after the dentist's office was closed, of course), but it didn't seen too bad, and I was hoping that we could keep it under control until Monday morning. He was still complaining on Saturday, but not often enough for me to think it was really serious, and he was able to keep the pain under control by swishing water over it. As Saturday wore into the evening he got progressively worse and by bedtime, I realized that we might not have a bedtime. For anyone who might not know, it is virtually impossible to get dental help between 7 p.m. Saturday night, and 9 am Monday morning. Even the urgent care places tell you to call the emergency room, who, I found out, will just give you a shot to numb it until you can get to your dentist. Not being able to find anyone to help us, I had my husband give him a blessing, which he did. I was praying over and over that he'd be able to go to sleep, and we were trying all the home remedies we knew of but nothing seemed to help. As midnight approached and then faded into a memory, the questions started to come. . .Why isn't Heavenly Father helping him? What reason can there be for a 10-year-old to be suffering? Aren't my prayers good enough? & etc. I remembered the hairbrush incident (see previous post), reminding myself that He has answered my prayers in the past. Finally around 2 a.m. he stayed in bed and I drifted off to sleep, grateful for the respite.
The next morning around 7, I was awakened by his screaming in pain, once again. My questions about prayer re-surfaced, and my thoughts were taken back to an experience I had a couple of weeks previous. A friend has been going through some tough times with children who don't always make the best choices. As we were talking about this, it occurred to us that if we were going to exhibit faith in our prayers, we needed to continue to trust, even when things weren't turning out the way we thought they should. I applied that to this situation, and started saying to myself, "Heavenly Father is in charge. I can trust Him to take care of this situation." I immediately felt the burden become lighter, and I realized that my questioning and doubting had been creating a negative energy that was possibly blocking my ability to get answers. The night before when my son was in so much pain, I read that ibuprofen can be given to ease the pain. As we hardly ever use drugs, I'm always nervous about giving them to children, so we didn't give him any that night. Finally, in the morning, I gave in to the ibuprofen, as well as some herbs, which he took and then went in and put himself to bed, until early afternoon, when he woke up in pain, and we gave him some more. We were able to keep the pain at bay and make it through Sunday. Later that evening my husband told me that when he gave our son a blessing, he had blessed him that through his pain he would learn to feel compassion for others and not want to cause them pain. This child has a temper and we've been trying to figure out how to get him to stop hitting people when he gets provoked. So after all that, I realized that maybe there had been a reason that he had to go through the pain that night. As for me, hopefully I'll remember that Heavenly Father does hear and answer ALL of our sincere prayers, and that we can trust Him to answer them in the way and with the timing that is for our best. I want to get to the point where I can keep trusting without the doubting. It brings to mind a favorite poem:

I know not by what methods rare,
But this I know, God answers prayer.
I know that He has given His Word,
Which tells me prayer is always heard,
And will be answered, soon or late.
And so I pray and calmly wait.
I know not if the blessing sought
Will come in just the way I thought;
But leave my prayers with Him alone,
Whose will is wiser than my own,
Assured that He will grant my quest,
Or send some answer far more blest.
(Eliza M. Hickok, “Prayer,” Best Loved Religious Poems, ed. James Gilchrist Lawson, New York: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1933, p. 160.)

The Devil Hairbrush

From the scriptures we learn that we are to pray over everything that happens to us in our lives. In the book of Alma we are admonished to:

"[C]ry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save. Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him. Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks. Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening. Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies. Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness. Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them. Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase. But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness. Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you" (Alma 34:18-27).

I had an experience that taught me that there really is nothing too small to ask the Lord for help with, and that help can come immediately, as the following letter to my missionary son illustrates:

Dear Spencer,

I had an interesting experience this past week. I have what is called a round brush, called that because it’s round. Personally, I think they’re evil, and you will, too, after you hear this story. They use them in salons, and, considering how they’re always in the store when you go there, I suppose normal people must use them, too. I’ve bought them several times (usually after going to the salon and watching the lady use it on me, and thinking, mistakenly, that if I buy one, I can make my hair look like it did when I walked out of the salon). So I have several on hand. Well the other day, I was having a hard time getting my hair to look like I wanted it to, so I decided to get out the round brush and give it a try. Now, there’s a trick to using these, I think, but I’ve never figured it out, which is why I only try them every few years. Then I forget about the experience until the next time I go to use it, when I’m reminded again, and the brush goes back into the drawer for another couple of years. The idea, as I understand it, is that you’re supposed to (well, not YOU, per se, but people with enough hair to want to try this) be able to wrap your hair in a curve as you focus the blow dryer on it, and then let it out smoothly, so it stays in the curved shape. What invariably happens to me is that I wrap it around and the bristles catch onto the hair they’re not supposed to be catching onto, kind of like those burrs outside that get all stuck in your shoelaces. When the person dumb enough to be using this brush, OK, I admit it, it’s me…When I try to unwind the brush, it doesn’t unwind and the brush gets stuck in my hair. Well, luckily this time I didn’t get quite that far, and it only got slightly stuck, and wasn’t too hard to untangle. I decided then and there that it was just time to throw out all 3 of those brushes, because I just am not coordinated enough to use them. So, I went out and left the brush sitting on the counter in the bathroom. A few hours later, Sarah finds me (not that I was necessarily hiding, although, after what happened, it wouldn’t have been a bad idea), and says that Hannah needs to talk to me. I asked what she wanted and she mentions something about hair and a brush. I got this sick feeling in my stomach, and soon found it to be completely justified. I found Hannah, whose hair, as you might remember, is nearly down to her waist, with the hairbrush completely wrapped up in her hair with no conceivable way to extricate it. I’m pretty sure Hannah is part mouse—you know how you can set traps out for them and they always get caught, eventually, because they have to go everywhere? Well, Hannah seems to have to touch everything there is. So I’m sitting on the couch with her sitting in front of me, trying to untangle that jungle, and she’s crying because it hurts, and I’m vacillating back and forth between sympathy, and trying not to keep asking her what she was thinking, knowing that thinking doesn’t have anything to do with why children do what they do. I finally realized that my only option was probably going to be to have to cut her hair, and that wouldn’t have been pretty. The one side would have been cut clear to her scalp. I finally said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to please help me solve this problem. Very shortly I was given the brilliant idea to get the pliers and pull the (teeth, tines, what do you call those pokey things in a brush, anyway?) out of the brush until the hair could slip off the brush. So I did. One by one I pulled those critters out of that brush, Hannah still not enjoying herself, as each one would finally give way with a jerk causing the brush to poke her in the head. I tried to shield her as best I could, but it wasn’t easy. To her credit, she suffered mostly in silence, but I really was feeling for her. I’m happy to report that the idea worked and I was finally able to slide her hair off the brush. It didn’t seem that she had lost all that much hair, until I started brushing it out, and then it came out in bunches. Luckily, she has lots and you can’t tell that she just went through this hair-raising trauma, and she seems none the worse for wear. That brush is now in the garbage, rendered harmless, and as I’m thinking about it, I think I’ll hurry and go find the other ones, before someone beats me to it. Moral: Prayer works. (There’s probably another moral or two in there having something to do with hairbrushes, but I want to keep this on a spiritual note.)

Traffic Jam Session

Personally, I am hoping that in the next life we don't have traffic. It seems that if we can travel just by thinking ourselves somewhere, like some of the near death experience survivors claim, then traffic must be a telestial world problem. Even more of a reason to strive for the Celestial Kingdom, don't you think?

I wonder if I can make it to the CK without mastering my issues with traffic, though. I had this thought one day that turned into a full blown scenario, maybe even a vision, though nothing like the tree of life vision, or anything like that. I saw myself going before the pearly gates after this life was over, expecting to be let in, but being told that there was this one little area that I hadn't quite taken care of, but not to worry, because I'd be given another chance there. The problem was that I was still impatient in traffic and I had to get that under control. I was shown the time that I was driving along with my just-learning-to-talk twins in the back seat when someone cut me off in traffic. I said "Helloooooo!" at the closed window in a not too quiet tone, and few seconds later from the back seat I heard, "heh-wooooo!" in exactly the same inflection that I had just said it. I made a note to myself to try not to say ornery things out loud when the kids are in the car. Then I remembered the time that I had picked my daughter up from high school with the other children in the car. As we were driving out of the neighborhood, some teenagers jay-walked in front of our car and stopped in the middle of the street and did a dance right there, I suppose for our enjoyment. I rolled down the window and told them they were idiots, whereupon my oldest daughter immediately turned around and said to her siblings, "Don't do what Mom does." Oops. Or there was the time that I was coming home at midnight after returning the videos that were due, being followed by a big truck with his brights shining in my rear view mirror. I slowed down just to pay him back and he had to follow me that way for quite awhile. As I was making a left hand turn onto my street, I didn't realized that he had had enough and was passing me on the left side, crossing over the double yellow line. I didn't check my mirrors, and as I made the turn, he plowed into my car, pushing me out of the way, and kept on driving. When I realized that I seemed to be okay, I took off after him to get his driver's license. He pulled over after a block or two and luckily didn't kill me. It turned into an ugly mess, but once again brought home to me that I had better learn to behave myself.
In this scenario, I was told that I had to attend traffic school, but since they don't have traffic in Heaven, I'd have to take it in Hell, and it would be a lot harder to be nice about it there, because everyone really would be out to get me, as opposed to how I imagined it being in this life. After thinking about that, I decided that maybe I ought to try to do better, just in case there was something to it.

I think I am doing better, though some days are definitely better than others. I saw an interesting phenomenon one day while driving. I realized after awhile that I had been on auto pilot, while my mind had been somewhere far, far away. When I came to, I realized that for the longest time, all the cars in the group I was in had been traveling at exactly the same speed, with no one weaving in and out of traffic. It was as if we were all connected by steel beams so we had to stay the exact distance from one another. Finally, I realized what was going on: There was a policeman just ahead of us and no one wanted to pass him. I thought how funny that was, but also realized what a pleasant, unstressed experience that drive had been, feeling in no rush to be any where and not having to worry about getting around the traffic. I learned something that day: To enjoy traveling in the car, go the speed limit, and let everyone else who is in a hurry be the ones to weave in and out of traffic, and go around me if they want to. I now have 3 traffic rules, that I try to follow if I want to reduce my stress in that area of my life.

1) Leave in plenty of time to get where I'm going, with a little time to spare. If worried about having too much time, take a book to use up the extra.
2) If traffic is moving slower than I would like, listen to some good music (make sure to take my own, so I don't spend all my time switching radio stations) to make it more enjoyable.
3) As was mentioned before, stay in the slow lane and let everyone else be in a hurry.
4) Realize that my negative reactions to how others drive are choices I make, and that I am just as capable of choosing not to react negatively to them. If I feel an adrenaline rush coming on, I can just take a deep breath, let it go, and find something more positive to think about.
At the end of the journey, I'll either be stressed or calm. It's my choice. What a concept!

Stress Reduction

I just wanted to pass along 2 ideas for immediate stress reduction, for those who might be feeling it as I do sometimes. First, I'd like to direct your attention to the virtual bubble wrap to the right of these messages. This is fun, and even has a quick option (manic mode) for those of us who need to reduce our stress in a hurry. Just put your little cursor over those bubbles and click away. If you need to speed it up, see the manic button under the bubbles. The makes it so you just drag your cursor over the bubbles and they pop without having to take the time to click. I figure it probably saves about 1/10th of second per bubble. Think what you could do with all that time! The other option is to make a copy of the chart below and follow the instructions. Either way is good. :)






And here's a little thought that fits me pretty well today:

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our
wings....we simply continue to fly......... on
a broomstick....We are flexible....