Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Update on Weakness and Addiction

I want to thank Lucy for her comments to my question as to whether or not weakness and addiction are the same thing. She pointed out that they are not the same, but that weaknesses can lead to habits, which can then lead to addictions. That makes sense, and I guess when I consider it further, some of the things I was calling addictions, are actually just habits. So I started wondering about the process that turns weaknesses into addictions, because as pointed out in a previous discussion on Ether 12:27, God gives us weaknesses, therefore they aren't inherently bad. With this in mind, I had an interesting (to me) experience today that helped me understand a little better how the process works.
I am taking online classes from a university, and many of the books I have to read are not on my list of favorites, and if I actually had a list of very unfavorites, some of them would show up there. I find that I will do almost anything to convince myself that I'm too busy to study, even though I know it's something I should do, and I also know that if I'd invest some of the time that I waste in a day, I would find that I really do have plenty of time to get to the reading. Today I was downloading a bunch of mp3 files of talks from a convention, feeling anxious to be able to start listening to them. As I sat there, I kept having this feeling that I needed to be studying my lessons and that the talks would still be available after that. I really had to struggle with myself to make myself go study rather than start up one of the talks. Being self disciplined is very difficult for me, because it's often hard to see the rewards for being so, and the other things I'd rather be doing seem to call much louder than the things I should be doing. I believe that this is where we need to be able to have the Spirit with us, and then try hard to follow what we are prompted to do. It would have been very easy for me to ignore that little voice this afternoon--I know, because I've done it many times before. Realizing that procrastination and the lack of self discipline are two of my weaknesses, I can now try to be more aware of times when the Spirit is trying to help me with those. Just tuning into the awareness that I was being tested in an area of weakness helped me to make the right choice today. Hopefully, by continuing to be more aware, I'll be able to do my part in turning those weaknesses into strengths . . . one day at a time.

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