Give 'Em Two Hams!

Here is a story that President Grant told about dealing with the devil.
A man was asked to donate a choice ham that the ward could eat at their banquet.  The man walked out to his smokehouse and chose a choice ham.
Then he said to himself, “I don’t have to give my best ham.  I could give them any old ham and it would look all right.  No one would know the difference.”
Then he began to realize where those feelings were coming from and said, “Shut up, Mr. Devil, or I’ll give them two hams.”
President Grant’s triumphant line was, “He was troubled no more.”

–Truman G. Madsen, Presidents of the  Church, page 284

This little ad was taken from what in two short readings has become one of my favorite blogs: www.themisfitcygnet.com

The Noah/Moses Principle

This post from another blog teaches some great principles.  I just wanted to share it. :)

noah-moses and empathy

We just moved so we are meeting many new people. Think of the last time you met someone new. How did that conversation go? I have noticed that frequently within two minutes of an introductory conversation it starts: the comparisons and judgments, the defensiveness and rationalizations. I’ll type a few facts about myself that come up in conversation and see how if any of those kinds of thoughts come to your head: Hi my name is Britt. I have nine children, I homeschool, and I haven’t eaten sugar in almost seven years. Has it started yet? Are you questioning your family size, or mine? Are you defending your diet or the education of your children? Please don’t. PLEASE don’t. I’m not looking for an advisory, or a competitor. I need a friend.

When I tell people these basic facts about my life I hope they understand what I call the Noah-Moses principle. Moses should not have built Noah’s ark and neither should you. Join me in a thought exercise. Imagine Noah and Moses talking together. This is the first time they have met, and they are likely discussing the miracles they are most famous for. Can you for one minute imagine them fighting over bragging rights for the best way to traverse impassible bodies of water? Can you imagine Moses leaving the conversation thinking about how he has never understood those boat-building types and wishing he had found someone more like him to talk with? It sounds cartoonish doesn’t it? Ridiculous and humorous, yet we do it all the time. We don’t wish we knew how to build a boat or part the seas…but we do wish for and question the missions and circumstances of others.

I first learned this concept a few years ago. At the time my twins were one. They were my sixth and seventh children. It had been a challenging year for our family. While our extended family was dealing with cancer, parkinsons, paralysis, open heart surgery and other major issues, we were dealing with sleep deprivation. Frequent and random interruptions of sleep are used to torture prisoners of war. They bring on weakness, helplessness, disillusionment and depression. Sleep deprivation is standard fair for parents of infants. About the time my twins turned one, I went to a meeting with a group of women. A lovely lady was sharing her recent experiences with us. She had found her mission in life and in amazing ways she was changing the world. She and her daughter had gone to Africa on a three week adventure to help refugee children there. Her slides were stunning and inspiring. The need of the children was obvious. Her experiences led her to ask us in humility to help meet the specific needs of the children; we could go with her, or gather supplies or donate money. As she was speaking with all the passion and heart she could muster I felt a still small voice whisper…have another child. The voice did not tell me to go to Africa, though I would have loved it and there is much to do there. I was not told to fulfill her mission anymore than Moses was told to build an ark. The spirit saw through the beautiful details of the presentation to the principle: God loves you; God has a mission for you. You will be needed to do something amazing and impossible to bless his children.

Just like Moses and Noah, God may ask us to do something impossible. Fear can effect our ability to rely on the Lord to accomplish what He wants us to do. Fear may lead us to scurry about relying on the wisdom of women (even great ones). There is a definite logic that would lead us to NOT do what is so very obviously impossible. Lack of self worth may lead us to forget that God knows us and has a specific plan for us. It may not look dramatic or exciting. It may not be more or "better" or measurable at all. It may not be what we want to do at all. It will be God's plan for us. If Noah had built the Jaredite barges he would have been in trouble...the principle there wasn't even boat building. It was and always has been that the Lord prepares a way for us to accomplish all that he commands us. He does not help us accomplish what He has commanded other people to do.

Now what if the Jaredite barge builders, the Nephite boat builders, Noah and Moses all got together? Would Moses feel left out? We all like to be with people who have similar missions, similar circumstances and similar beliefs. It’s both motivating and comforting. Yet it doesn’t take specific circumstances or experiences to empathize..it takes a heart and listening ears. Or in other words, what I call the empathy principle… You don’t need to give birth in an elevator on Christmas eve to have empathy for others.

Two years ago I gave birth to a baby in an elevator. Dramatic, exciting, crazy! At first I hated to tell people about the birth because their reactions tended towards the extreme. I was the side show circus act fit for reality television. My feelings about the birth were far from those that would enjoy that voyeurism. I felt my body had betrayed me and endangered my baby. I felt such overwhelming fear and heartache surrounding the situation. I was in shock that I had gone through the experience. I had reoccurring nightmares as my mind tried to make sense of the birth. I felt very angry and very alone. I had many symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome..from what some people saw as a dramatic, crazy and exciting experience-oh and SO easy to have such a short labor..how lucky.

I found a lot of understanding and healing from two fairly unlikely sources. Around that same time a friend had a homebirth. Unlike the peace and simplicity she had experienced surrounding some of her other births…this was an extremely long, difficult and painful birth. I don’t remember all of the circumstances but I do know that what struck me was that we were feeling very similar feelings. She too felt betrayed by her body, a lot of anger and shock. She also felt misunderstood as she tried to explain her feelings to others. Our situations were fairly different, but I felt she understood me.

I also felt that Jesus understood me. I have always felt that Jesus understands women even in our most female circumstances. He offers to the world life eternal and they refuse. He has been misunderstood and abused. Some people see him as weak and a sort of door mat. More appropriate to my current situation was the Atonement. I wondered at Jesus’ prayers in the Garden of Gethsemene and how his Apostles couldn’t wait with him one hour. I wonder if he worried that his body wouldn’t be able to do what he needed it to do. I know he asked to “let this cup pass from him.” I felt that Jesus understood me. In my dreams I slowly began to see angels surrounding my husband and me in that elevator. I can still feel that comfort.

The understanding and empathy I sought did not come from people who had experienced a Christmas Eve elevator birth…yes, Christmas Eve. Isn’t that dramatic, exciting and crazy? Maybe reading this you have felt some empathy for me. You can share in my emotions even without sharing my experiences. Think of the most salient experiences in your life. They may involve pain, love, sorrow, loneliness, fear or helplessness. Those words probably don’t even begin to describe the depth of what you experienced. Those experiences can either separate us or unite us. We can choose to honestly say that no one else has ever really experienced exactly what we experienced, or we can open our hearts and recognize the emotions we feel in the hearts of others despite their wildly different circumstances.

The next time you meet someone, I hope you remember the Noah-Moses Principle and the Empathy Principle. I hope it helps you develop a friendship where you might not have. I hope it helps you pursue your mission and encourage the efforts of others to do so. I hope if you meet me you will not focus on the differences that could separate us and instead take the time to make a friend.

Source: http://inspiringmotherhood.blogspot.com/

Airline Humor

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget

And yet HE is mindful of me.

What happens when scientists point the Hubble telescope at "nothing"? Watch this amazing video, then go back and read my subject line.

(click on the image to open it larger.)

A Painting to Ponder

"This painting was unique from its very beginning. It would be great if I could take credit for the composition and message it conveys but in my mind, that would be like Moses taking credit for bringing water from the stone in the desert.

"Usually when I have an idea for a painting it starts as a simple seed and it grows as I play with the image in my mind, moving the characters around, imagining the lights and shadows, the values and the colors, eventually deciding on its composition after what might be weeks or even months of pondering and sketches, but this painting was different. There was no seed, no moving of characters, it was totally different.

"I was sitting in church on a Sunday afternoon as the Sacrament was being passed and bang, there it was, the image was instantaneously placed before my mind's eye just as you see it here. This experience has happened to me only three times and it has been very special each time." --Doc Christensen

Judgment

From "The Holy Temple," by Boyd K. Packer, page 42

"A number of years ago I served on the stake high council in
Brigham City. On one occasion the stake presidency and
high counsel and their wives attended an evening
temple session in the Logan Temple. One of the workers
was participating in the instruction for the first
time and did very poorly. He had difficulty in
remembering his part and was obviously nervous and
flustered. He mixed up his presentation in a way that
in other places would have been considered humorous.
He struggled through however and was gently coached
and corrected by those who were with them. As much
dignity and reverence was maintained as would be
possible considering the difficulty.
After the session was over, the brethren fron the
stake presidency and high council were standing on the
walkway from the Temple, waiting for our wives to meet
us. One of the brethren commented in some amusement
that he surely wouldn't have wanted to be that man,
that night. "He really went through an ordeal," he
said. "It was like he was like being put on trial
before all those people. "
President Vernal Willey, characteristically a quiet
man, said with some firmness, "Hold on brethren,
let's get one thing straight here. It wasn't that man
that was on trial here tonight. We were. ""

Virtues and Mistakes

"We all tend to underestimate the significance of our virtues, and overestimate the importance of our mistakes."       --  Denver Snuffer

Daddy, What's a Metric Tensor?

I found out about a blog that I've been devouring for the past couple of days.  One of the posts talked about how the Lord has a sense of humor and that some of the followers of Christ could loosen up a bit.  I believe this to be true on both counts.  While we should never treat sacred things lightly or irreverently, much of what happens to us can be looked at with an eye of humor.  I find that humor is the best way for me to keep my perspective about my daily happenings, and especially the ones that are more frustrating.  I believe that Heavenly Father and Jesus are very patient with us as we make mistakes, and learn and grow from them.  Sometimes I think I can even feel the humor coming from the other side of the veil as the watch me trying to figure things out, much like I get a kick out of watching my children do the same.  The following story was shared in the comments section of the blog I was reading, and I had to pass it along.  In trying to give credit or get permission to post it, it became obvious that the person who posted it was not the person to whom it happened, and I was unable to find the original source.  Enjoy!

"When I was in college many years ago, I was working on a degree in Math and Physics. My wife was also working on a math degree too and we have conversations about what we were learning. I'd share with here all the great things I was learning about the cosmos and the structure of the universe as our 2 year old son Joshua would listen with curiosity. One night I remember talking to my wife about metric tensors and the mathematics of general relativity.

Late one night, after a great deal of study and what I thought was "brain sweat" I went out onto our porch and began praying to Heavenly Father (while standing gazing into the starry night) to reveal the mysteries and the structure of the universe. I pleaded with him that I had "studied it out in my mind" and was now ready to know the truth.

I was surprised as I prayed and prayed and only found silence. I began pleading the the Lord "why the silence?" I could handle it.... I was ready to understand....so I thought... at some point late into my prayers my little two year old son started tugging at my pant leg saying "Daddy daddy, what's a metric tensor?" I turned to him and looking down said "Not now Joshua, I'm praying".... then again I heard him say "Daddy daddy, what's a metric tensor?"

At this point I looked down at him.... and remember my total silence as I looked at him wondering how in the world I was going to explain what a metric tensor was to a two year old... I stood for several moments in total silence looking and smiling at my curious little son....when the light finally went on in my mind, I chuckled a little.... heavenly Father must be looking at me with the same silence (and maybe even an little smile) wondering how He could explain the structure of the universe to this man child praying to Him..... I remember finishing my prayer with "oh......thank you Heavenly Father for being patient and helping me better understand."

I still think about those questions after many years of study and prayer....I hope to be ready for those answers (Heaven willing) in 30,000 years-If I'm lucky... :)

By the way, my son Joshua is now 38... I don't he really cares what a metric tensor is these days. :) "

Unhappiness vs. Dissatisfaction

When I saw the title "Unhappiness vs. Dissatisfaction" on the list of podcasts for one of my favorite online radio programs, The Dennis Prager Show, I thought for a second that it was redundant, and could have been shortened to one or the other of those words.  After listening to the program, I am now convinced that the two words do not mean the same thing, and that it would do everyone well to learn the difference. 

Mr. Prager points out that a person can be dissatisfied with certain aspects of their life, but still be happy.  Of course they can!  I might look in the mirror and feel like it's time to get a haircut, but I can still have a good day.  He says that's all right to be dissatisfied with things, but that it's when we turn into complainers and try to dump our problems on other people and bring them down that we need to take a look at ourselves.  No one likes to be around chronic complainers.  I don't know very many, because I choose to hang around with basically happy people, but my guess is that most of them don't have too many friends, and that those who do might just be part of a group that complains, too.  I doubt that people like hang around in groups, though, because my perception is that they usually just want to talk about themselves, and it would be weird to be part of group where everyone was focused on themself.  That lends itself more to solitude.

I enjoy  my friends, and I want to know what is going on in their lives, but I've noticed with most of them that I have to dig a little to get them to tell me about the stuff happening behind the happy face, and I think that's the way it should be.  A saying I heard many years ago says, "A friend is someone who asks how you're doing, and then stays around to hear the answer."  Most people do not need to know about our problems, but true friends are there to mourn with us when we mourn, to comfort us when we stand in need of comfort, and to rejoice with us when we are rejoicing.  I think there's a scripture out there somewhere that says those are the marks of a good Christian.  In order to be able to share another's burdens, we have to know what those are, but there is a difference between reporting on what is happening in one's life, and whining about how terrible and unfair life is.  I think my favorite statement from this program was:  Happy people are happy, regardless of circumstances, and unhappy are unhappy regardless of circumstances.

Another author/lecturer that I enjoy very much is James Cox.  He teaches that temporal experiences are given to us for spiritual growth.  All of the hard things in our lives can be used to remind us to turn our hearts to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, to enlist their aid in carrying our burdens.  When we remember them in the midst of our hardships, and we show gratitude in all things, the blessings come, and miracles happen that help us to get through those times.

Happiness is a choice!  Be Happy!

My Absolute Favorite Parenting Resource

Have you ever made up a chart system to get the children to do their chores, only to have them roll  their eyes and say, "Another chart??"  My children are weary of my attempts to police their behavior.  They know that the chart will only last as long as my will to enforce, and that never makes it longer than a month.  Then a year or so later, I try again with another chart, etc., etc.  I'm probably weird like that, but I was just wondering if anyone else could relate.  Recently, I came across a book that I have been sharing with everyone I can, and almost everyone has found it to be a wonderful resource.  Rather than being based on behavior modification, it is based on the fundamental principles necessary to teaching children how to govern their own behavior.  Part of the process is teaching the mom how to handle various situations, but the beauty is that you always go back to the basic principles, instead of looking around for another system.  The book is entitled: A House United: Changing Children's Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government, written by Nicholeen Peck.  I don't have the system down anywhere near perfectly, but even the little bits I'm able to do make a big difference on the days that I can remember to use them.  The more consistent I am, the better their behavior is.  When I feel things slipping out of control, I simply go back to these same core principles and things start falling into place, and everyone is happier.  In this system there is no need for anger or harsh punishments, because consequences firmly and lovingly applied work better.  She talks about how to do those things, as well as how to set up a family structure in this book.

The basis of the system is to teach 4 Basic Skills.  From her blog:

The Four Basic Skills

I wanted to review the four basic skills with you.  I will now have these as well as the steps to the teaching styles in a permanent category called Four Basics/Steps. I hope this is helpful.  

The Four Basic Skills – 99% of all behavioral problems fall into one of the four basic skills that should be taught.  You can create other steps to specific behaviors by logically deciding how a behaviorally healthy person solves similar situations. But, if it isn’t obvious what steps to teach the youth for a specific behavior, then use the four basic skills again.  The four basic should be taught first.  For most children, these four will cover all behaviors that they have a problem with.   
             
 Following Instructions
Look at the person
Calm voice, face, body
Say “OK” or ask to disagree appropriately
Do the task immediately
Check Back

Accepting NO Answers/ Criticism
Look at the person
Calm voice, face, body
Say “OK” or ask to disagree
Drop the subject

Accepting Consequence
Look at the person
Calm voice, face, body
Say “OK” or ask to disagree
Perform the consequence immediately
Drop the subject

Disagreeing Appropriately
Look at the person
Calm, face,voice, body
Ask to disagree appropriately
Say you understand other person’s opinion
Explain your opinion
After decision, say “OK”
Drop the subject

She also gives instructions on what the mom should say when giving instructions, or consequences.  It takes practice, but it's great in that it helps the children come to realize that they are responsible for what happens in their life.  Unpleasant consequences (usually extra chores) follow poor choices, and pleasant consequences follow good choices.

  If you'd like to get a taste of this philosophy, or order the book, go here:  www.teachingselfgovernment.com .  You'll be glad you did!

Pennies

A great story. . . .

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc.. This is the first time I've ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about. 
Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house 
The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying her self immensely. 

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. 
He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. 

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. 

He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up? 

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value. 

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this? 

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says." She read the words " United States of America " 
"No, not that; read further." 
"One cent?" "No, keep reading." 
"In God we Trust?" "Yes!" "And?" 
"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful! 

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. 

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.. 

Thought for the Day: 

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. 

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in... 

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. 

"God is my strength and my power; and he maketh my way perfect."  2 Samuel 22:33