Senior Texting Code

(The ones in pink are my favorites.) :) 

Since more and more seniors are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).

ATD: At The Doctor's
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

New Words To Add To Your Vocabulary

New definitions

The Washington Post's ‘Mensa Invitational’ once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2009 winners (minus the ones that weren't suitable for children--according to the blog I borrowed this from):

• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
• Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ***.
• Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
• Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
• Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

To Catch a Thief

Just came across the following story in my gratitude studies.  It isn't about gratitude, but about love, but all things are intertwined.

As a young man, Brother Vern Crowley said he learned something of the crucial lesson the Prophet Joseph had taught the early Saints in Nauvoo when he told them to "love others, even our enemies as well as friends." This is a good lesson for each of us.
    After his father became ill, Vern Crowley took responsibility for running the family wrecking yard although he was only fifteen years of age. Some customers occasionally took unfair advantage of the young man, and parts were disappearing from the lot overnight. Vern was angry and vowed to catch someone and make an example of him. Vengeance would be his.
    Just after his father had started to recover from his illness, Vern was making his rounds of the yard one night at closing time. It was nearly dark. In a distant corner of the property, he caught sight of someone carrying a large piece of machinery toward the back fence. He ran like a champion athlete and caught the young thief. His first thought was to take out his frustrations with his fists and then drag the boy to the front office and call the police. His heart was full of anger and vengeance. He had caught his thief, and he intended to get his just dues.
    Out of nowhere, Vern’s father came along, put his weak and infirm hand on his son’s shoulder, and said, "I see you’re a bit upset, Vern. Can I handle this?" He then walked over to the young would-be thief and put his arm around his shoulder, looked him in the eye for a moment, and said, "Son, tell me, why are you doing this? Why were you trying to steal that transmission?" Then Mr. Crowley started walking toward the office with his arm around the boy, asking questions about the young man’s car problems as they walked. By the time they had arrived at the office, the father said, "Well, I think your clutch is gone and that’s causing your problem."
    In the meantime, Vern was fuming. "Who cares about his clutch?" he thought. "Let’s call the police and get this over with." But his father just kept talking. "Vern, get him a clutch. Get him a throwout bearing, too. And get him a pressure plate. That should take care of it." The father handed all of the parts to the young man who had attempted robbery and said, "Take these. And here’s the transmission, too. You don’t have to steal, young man. Just ask for it. There’s a way out of every problem. People are willing to help."
    Brother Vern Crowley said he learned an everlasting lesson in love that day. The young man came back to the lot often. Voluntarily, month by month, he paid for all of the parts Vic Crowley had given him, including the transmission. During those visits he asked Vern why his dad was the way he was and why he did what he did. Vern told him something of their Latter-day Saint beliefs and how much his father loved the Lord and loved people. Eventually the would-be thief was baptized. Vern later said, "It’s hard now to describe the feelings I had and what I went through in that experience. I, too, was young. I had caught my crook. I was going to extract the utmost penalty. But my father taught me a different way."
    A different way? A better way? A higher way? A more excellent way? Oh, how the world could benefit from such a magnificent lesson. As Moroni declares:
    "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world,"
    "In the gift of his Son hath God prepared a more excellent way." (Ether 12:4, 11.)
    President David O. McKay once said:
    "The peace of Christ does not come by seeking the superficial things of life, neither does it come except as it springs from the individual’s heart. Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.’ "(Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, pp. 39-40.)

From a talk by Howard W. Hunter, entitled "A More Excellent Way"

Grateful #51-120

51. Cardboard Boxes and garbage bags for my decluttering project
52. Closets
53. Staplers
54. Rubber Bands
55. Hole punchers
56. Two whole days to organize
57. Moments of quiet
58. Occasional whole days of quiet
59. Books, books, books!
60. The ability to read those books. (Thanks, God, for eyes to see and a mind that can learn to read. Thanks, Mom, for taking the time to teach me to read.)
61. Toasters
62. Blenders--especially ones that can handle the hard stuff
63. Sister-in-law who tends my children for two whole days to give me some time to think and to organize
64. Brother who married #63.
65. Oven light that alerts me that I accidentally turned on the oven while cleaning.
66. Central heating.
67. Air conditioning (in my case a swamp cooler).
68. Water heater
69. Warm blankets
70. Pink camo jammies.
71. Fleece
72. A forgiving heat-leaf philodendron
73. A parakeet named tiger, who we now think should have been named Tiger Lily, or Tigress, but who shall forever be called Tiger, who likes to sit on my shoulder and ride around on my head.
74. Cameras
75. Videos of little children
76. New beginnings
77. The internet
78. You Tube
79. Email
80. MP3 players
81. Art Garfunkel singing "Grateful"
82. Dictionaries
83. Lessons learned in 2010
84. Lessons yet to learn in 2011
85. Good-night hugs and kisses
86. The Constitution
87. The Declaration of Independence
88. Persimmons
89. Silence
90. Warm dish water, especially on cold, winter nights
91. Two eyes that can see
92. Two hands
93. Two legs, both with feet, both will all 10 toes
94. "A heart that can hold love."  (From the song "Grateful")
95. Ears that can hear
96. A husband and children who are grateful fr the meals I cook, and who tell me thank you.
97. Refrigerators.
98. My guitar
99. The ability to sew (even though I don't do it much, and I don't like to, it's nice to know I can--thanks, again, Mom!)
100. "A roof over my head."  (from Grateful)
101. A husband who is a hard worker and a good provider, and who loves me even though it must be very hard sometimes.
102. Rain
103. Dancing
104. Clean sheets
105. Sunlight on snow
106. Real letters from people I love
107. Emails every week from the missionaries
108. Backrubs
109. Foot rubs
110. Warm slippers
111. Knowing how to cook (thanks, Mom!)
112. A mom who taught me all these great things!
113. Earrings
114. Headbands that keep my hair out of my eyes
115. Hair
116. PINK!
117. Hats
118. The smell of freshly peeled cucumbers
119. Talking to my 16-year old son for over an hour and a half just about stuff
120. A hug from my son after #119.

House Cleaning

Today I have to say that I am grateful for:
 
A mother who taught me to clean, even though I don't do it as often as I should.  This week's project is the bathrooms.  I know, most people just do that in an hour or two.  For me, it has to be done in shifts, a little each day until I'm done.  Part of today's work included the tub.  I discovered that thing is actually white!  A few more things I'm grateful for:  Scrubbing Bubbles.  Then for the next layer: Mr. Clean Magic Sponges and the green scouring pads.  Then when all else failed, razor blades -- for the really hard water stains.  A new goal for this year is to do it more often, so I don't have to use options 2 and 3 any more. I'm also just grateful to have a tub and a shower.  Have I said that before?  I probably have, but I think it counts again, if I'm truly grateful for it again.